To the first part:
If you use the fader of your dca instead of the mute button, you won’t effect your aux mixes.
Mute is not an On Off button, its a safetyguard and triggers at the start of the Inputline, before all sends and other processing and routing. If you going to unplug or change something, mute will help to secure not mess is going anyway thru your mixer. So this is a completly different function, than you are looking for.
Second part: I cant speak for other vendors and producers, but my experience with sticking to standart behaviers of functions, like A&H does normaly is a pro, not a con, cause you will not fall to problems caused by overcustimization, like a lot of technicians do on – for example digico – other consoles. Its a tool, and if it behaves completely different as expected, this might give you a lot of troubles.
Work with mutegroups, and seperate mutegroups for your voice or break chan. This will do nice, and every other technition will be able to work with it.
Kind regards